GENIE: Who am I?  You ask who am I?  I am the Genie of the Lamp, and being bottled up for thousands of years has made me extremely short-tempered!  So I ask you, how do you wish to die?

ALADDIN: I don’t wish to die!

GENIE: Good answer. 

ALADDIN: I'm in love, and I want to get married.
MOTHER: Praise be, my son's become a man. Who is the lucky maid?
ALADDIN: The most beautiful girl in the world, the Princess Sabrina, daughter of the Sultan.
MOTHER: Oh son, dear son, she's royalty, you're..... not.

MOTHER: No, no, no. I don't want it around the house, get rid of it.
ALADDIN: But mom, it's a real magic lamp with a real genie inside.
MOTHER: Genie? Looks like a nightmare to me.
ALADDIN: Please, can't I keep it? I'll take care of it.

ALADDIN: Listen, you know exactly where it is, why don’t you go?  I’ll wait here, I promise.

MAGICIAN: You idiot!  I’m your uncle.  Now go!

ALADDIN: Yeah, but aren’t there rodents and bats and stuff down there?  I really hate those!

ALADDIN: Have it done tomorrow.

GENIE: Tomorrow?  Monday?

ALADDIN: Uh, yes, that's right.

GENIE: Why, I should take your miserable little head and crush it in my hand like an insect, and spread it on the sand it does not deserve to return to!

ALADDIN: What did I say?

GENIE: Monday!  It is a day of rest for all genies!  We neither work nor sleep nor play, we simply rest!

ALADDIN: Tuesday would be fine.

GENIE: I was born from the thundering wind that blew from the mouth of the great white bear, who came from the fiery yellow sun, who is the eye of the all-powerful being, whose name I am forbidden to speak.  And you are?