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The Three Little Pigs
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In Memorium

Starring Billy Crystal, Valerie Perine, and Jeff Goldblum

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"I'll never bring home the bacon."

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Yellow Spinning 5 Point Star

Yellow Spinning 5 Point Star

Yellow Spinning 5 Point Star

Yellow Spinning 5 Point Star

 
 
In what many consider to be the funniest Faerie Tale episode, Billy Crystal, Fred Willard, and Stephen Furst star as the Three Little Pigs.  The tale is faithfully told, with plenty of witty dialogue.  As the three little pigs, Peter, Paul, and Larry (get it?) leave their mom to find their own way in the world.  They each build houses and try to keep the wolf away from the door.
 
Billy Crystal is the star, but Jeff Goldblum really steals the show as Buck, the Big Bad Wolf.  Valerie Perrine is a riot as the beautiful she-pig Tina, whom they all fall for.  And character actress Brandis Kemp is quite memorable as Buck's unseen and horribly nagging wife, Nadine. 
 
There are so many great moments in this story that it's impossible to pick a favorite.  This is the one faerie tale episode that everyone in my family still quotes to this day.  You will love it.
 
 

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LARRY: We could form a singing band, we could tour the country, and we could call ourselves Peter, Paul, and Larry!
 
 
BUCK: I'm king of the cave, babe!
 

LARRY: Please don't use the ladder behind the bush.
WOLF: Ladder? What ladder?
LARRY: Over there behind the bush, please don't find it!
WOLF: There's a lot of bushes!
LARRY: Make a left! A left! What a moran.
WOLF: Ladder! Ha, thought you could hide it from me hamhog!
 
 
LARRY: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!
WOLF: You keep saying that! What's it mean 'chinny chin chin' what's it mean?
LARRY: It means no.
 
 
PAUL: Well hello Sweetie Sweets! Talk about your prime cuts... Tell me bacon bits, where've you been all my life?
 
 
WOLF: All I want to do is take you home and have you for dinner!
TINA: Well I'm just as flattered as I can be, Buck! I'm very sorry, but I already have a previous engagement.
 
 
LARRY: Whatever you do, don't jump down the chimney!
WOLF: I'll jump down the chimney and surprise them!
 
 
TINA: Man, pig, wolf, they're all alike.
 
 
WOLF: I can't believe it, I gotta go out and get a pig for Bob Coyote. They're animals, they chew up the furniture.

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Episode 16 (4-1)
Air Date: February 12, 1985

Jeff Goldblum .................... Buck Wolf
Billy Crystal ............................. Larry
Valerie Perrine ........................... Tina
Fred Willard .............................. Paul
Stephen Furst .......................... Peter
 
 

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