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Starring Liza Minnelli, Tom Conti, and Beatrice Straight
"Nobody sleeps on twenty mattresses!"
Without a doubt, this is my absolute favorite Faerie Tale Theatre episode
ever done. Liza Minnelli's performance as the wise-cracking Princess Alecia has made me a devout Liza fan. Tom
Conti's spoiled but troubled prince is a complete riot and the script is a million laughs a minute. The costumes and
sets are all in black and white which are quite stunning.
The supporting players are all loveable, but the real show-stealers are
Beatrice Straight as Queen Veronica and Tim Kazurinsky as the Fool. The story is fleshed out a bit, but all of the new
developments work very well. The characters are strong and the actors love them.
The original fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen has always been my favorite
and this is to my knowledge, still the only live-action adaptation ever made. While the tale certainly deserves more
recognition, this is definately the best version that will ever be.
QUOTES:
ALECIA:
Life isn't always perfect.
RICHARD:
Well for a prince it jolly well ought to be.
ALECIA:
It isn't.
RICHARD:
Why not?
ALECIA:
Because princes are human beings and human beings aren't perfect. Course I'm pretty close.
FOOL: Alecia! It's a test! There's a pea under your bed!
ALECIA:
No! No, there's no fleas in the bed.
FOOL: Not fleas! Peas! Peas!
ALECIA: Cheese?
ALECIA:
May I be honest with you? I have never had a worse night's sleep in my entire life. I don't mean to be ungrateful, but it
was so bizarre, it was like I was sleeping on this huge boulder or something. I'm black and blue from head to toe, you really
have to check those mattresses!
ALECIA:
You weren't by any chance hoping that in the middle of the night I might fall to my death?
QUEEN: Oh no! I only want you
to be comfortable! After all, what could be more comfortable than twenty soft mattresses, separated by twenty thick eiderdown
quilts?
ALECIA: Is this a trick question?
RICHARD: You're good
company. I'm glad you're here.
ALECIA:
Well it's like the Fool says, good company, bad company, at least you're not alone.
KING: I have just decided that the horizon is much too far away. Therefore
I order all the king's horses and all the king's men to take some very large ropes, and pull the horizon closer to the castle.
Let it be written, and let it be done.
ALECIA: I get it! It's a joke! It's a royal joke,
to see if I have a royal sense of humor! I'm so stupid, I should have known. I mean the whole family's a little
bit off anyways, and... seeing how I'm sitting here talking to myself I fit right in.
Episode 10 (3-2)
Air Date: April 16, 1984
Liza Minnelli...............................Princess Alecia
Tom Conti...................................Prince Richard
Beatrice Straight.............Queen Veronica/Woman
Pat McCormick........................King Fredrico/Man
Tim Kazurinsky......................Fool/Museum Guard
Charlie Dell..........................................Servant
Nancy Allen............................Princess Elizabeth
Dian Stilwell...........................Princess Rebecca
Pat Ast.........................................Princess #1
Mimi Seton.....................................Princess
#2
Jane Alden..........................Agricultural Princess
David McCharen...............................Messenger
Daniel Frishman...............................Shoemaker
John Achorn..........................................Guard
Produced by Bridget Terry and Fredric S. Fuchs
Written by Mark Curtiss and Rod Ash
Directed by Tony Bill
Download the complete script
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